1.
Never walk down the hall without a document in your
hands.

People with
documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important
meetings.

People with
nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with
a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the
toilet.

Above all,
make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the
false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2.
Use computers to look busy.

Any time you
use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and
receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast
without doing anything remotely related to work.

When you get
caught by your
boss -and you *will* get caught - your best defense is
to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable
training expenses.

3.
Messy desk.

Build huge
piles of documents around your workspace.

To the
observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that
counts.

Pile them
high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document
you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she
arrives.

4.
Voice Mail.

Never answer
your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call
you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because
they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.

If your voice
mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach
that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming
messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers
will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure
sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

5.
Looking Impatient and Annoyed.

One should
also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression
that you are always busy.

6.
Appear to Work Late.

Always leave
the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read
magazines and storybooks that you always wanted
to read, but have no time until late before leaving.

7.
Creative Sighing for Effect.

Sigh loudly
when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard
pressed.

8.
Stacking Strategy.

It is not
enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor
etc... You can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the
best.

9.
Build Vocabulary.

Read up on
some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new
products.